This week, if I’m being honest, I’ve felt completely overwhelmed. Not in a dramatic, everything-is-falling-apart kind of way, but more like everything is piling up at the same time and I keep looking around thinking, Where am I even supposed to start?
Our air has been out for almost three weeks now, and honestly, that alone has made everything feel harder. The house is hot, uncomfortable, and nothing really feels settled. Then I look around and the house feels like a mess. The refrigerator is practically bare, the laundry feels like it is stacked to the ceiling, and there are lesson plans I still need to do. WellNuvo is also sitting in the back of my mind because I want to keep creating, writing, building, and moving it forward. Then there are all the normal things that do not stop just because everything else feels like too much. The messages, the appointments, the errands, the people who need something, the things I forgot, the things I remembered at two in the morning, and the things I keep telling myself I will get to tomorrow.
Right now, it does not really feel like there is an end in sight, and I think that is what has been getting to me the most. It is not one huge thing. It is twenty little things sitting on top of each other, and every time I take one thing off the pile, something else seems to land there.
Maybe you know that feeling too. You are not necessarily falling apart, but you also do not feel like you are really catching up. You are just keeping everything moving. Lately, I feel like that is exactly what I have been doing. I am trying to stay on top of what I can, trying not to forget something important, trying to be present, trying to keep working, trying to keep the house going, trying to plan, trying to create, and trying to take care of everyone and everything. Somewhere underneath all of that is this quiet feeling of, I’m tired.
It is not just physical tiredness either. It is the kind of mental tired where even looking at the next thing on the list makes you want to close your eyes for a minute. I think we get so used to being the person who handles things that we do not always notice when we are carrying too much. We just keep going. We tell ourselves the house will get cleaned later, the laundry will get folded eventually, we will get groceries tomorrow, we will finish the work tonight, we will catch up this weekend, and we will rest when everything is done.
But what happens when everything is never really done?
That is the question I have been sitting with this week. Right now, it feels like there is always something waiting, and I am starting to realize that overwhelm is not always about being bad at managing life. Sometimes life is genuinely a lot. Sometimes things break. Sometimes plans change. Sometimes the house gets messy. Sometimes there is no food in the refrigerator because you have not had the energy or time to shop. Sometimes the laundry wins. Sometimes work follows you home. Sometimes something you love, like WellNuvo, becomes another thing you desperately want to give your attention to, but there just does not seem to be enough of you to go around.
And I think that is where I am right now. I do not want to stop doing the things that matter to me. I do not want to stop creating. I do not want to stop showing up. I do not want to stop caring for the people I love. I just want to breathe a little more inside all of it.
I want to look around and not immediately see everything that needs to be done. I want to sit down without mentally sorting laundry. I want to open the refrigerator and not think, I really need to go grocery shopping. I want to work on WellNuvo because I feel inspired, not because it is another thing sitting on the list. I want to make lesson plans without feeling like I am already behind before I begin. I want the house to feel like home again. And yes, I really want the air conditioning back. At this point, that alone would feel like a life upgrade.
Until everything gets fixed, cleaned, folded, bought, finished, and caught up, I am having to remind myself of something: I am still allowed to make room for myself in the middle of the mess.
That part is hard, because when everything feels unfinished, resting can feel irresponsible. There is always something you could be doing. Another load of laundry. Another email. Another page. Another plan. Another errand. But I am starting to wonder if waiting until everything is done before I let myself breathe is exactly how I ended up feeling this overwhelmed.
Maybe I do not need permission from my to-do list. Maybe I can sit for ten minutes even though the laundry is still there. Maybe I can drink something cold and do absolutely nothing for a few minutes even though the kitchen needs attention. Maybe I can decide that one thing can wait until tomorrow. Maybe the world will not fall apart if I do not finish everything tonight.
That sounds obvious when I say it out loud. It does not always feel obvious when I am living it.
I also know myself well enough to know that my instinct when life feels out of control is to make another plan. A new schedule, a new list, a new routine, a new system. Because surely if I organize everything correctly, I can somehow get back ahead of it. But maybe I do not need another giant plan right now. Maybe I just need one next thing.
Put one load of laundry in. Pick up groceries. Finish one lesson plan. Work on one piece of WellNuvo. Clear one small space in the house. Make one phone call. Then stop for a minute.
I do not have to solve the entire week tonight. I do not have to fix the whole house today. I do not have to catch up with everything at once. I think that is what I need to hear most right now, because when life feels this full, everything starts feeling equally urgent.
And it is not.
Some things can wait. Some things can be imperfect. Some things can be done tomorrow. Some things can simply stay undone for a little while. Maybe part of taking care of myself in this season is learning to be okay with that.
I keep coming back to this idea that a full life and an overwhelmed life are not exactly the same thing. A full life can still have room in it. Room for laughter, room for quiet, room for a cup of coffee, room for creativity, room to sit, room to breathe. Overwhelm happens when it feels like there is no room left.
That is what I want to change. Not everything. Just the room.
So right now, I am trying to be a little more honest with myself. The house is messy. The fridge needs food. The laundry is ridiculous. The air conditioning still is not fixed. There is work waiting. There are lesson plans to finish. There is WellNuvo, which matters deeply to me and that I still want to keep nurturing. And there are probably ten other things I am forgetting while I write this.
That is where I am.
And maybe instead of fighting that reality, I can start there. I can do what I can. I can leave some things for tomorrow. I can ask for help when I need it. I can stop expecting myself to handle every part of life perfectly. I can make one small space feel calmer. I can choose one thing instead of staring at all of them.
And I can remind myself that this season will not always feel exactly like this, even if right now it feels like there is no end in sight.
Maybe I do not need to see the end yet.
Maybe I just need enough room to get through today.
And if your life feels a little like that right now too, maybe that is enough for you as well.
One thing. One breath. One small bit of space.
Then we start again tomorrow.
Welcome home.
If you want, I can make this even more natural and “Barbara talking to a friend over coffee,” with fewer polished phrases and more everyday wording.
